Kathy Lang was introduced to Buddhism after she retired. She found that key Buddhist insights resonated with the therapeutic approach she used as a volunteer helping families with loved ones dealing with addiction. She particularly appreciates the secular Buddhist emphasis on bringing the practice to everyday life and the the view of nirvana as a process of reducing reactivity, rather than as the metaphysical goal of a state beyond our present reality.
SBN Editor: When you were younger, were you religious? Did you strongly identify with a particular spiritual tradition? If so, what was appealing to you about that tradition?
Kathy Lang: I was baptized a Lutheran at age 9. My mom finally won the contest to have her children baptized (my father was not a fan of organized religion). After that I was required to attend church regularly, although neither of my parents did. It was mostly a chore. I was much more interested in my best friend’s Roman Catholic church where so much intrigued me. One day I remember announcing to my parents that I planned to convert to Catholicism.
SBN: At what point did you find that tradition less appealing to you? Why?
KL: By high school my interest in any religion faded. I had become my father’s daughter after learning more about the history of religion. I took a comparative religion course in college about the time I met my future husband who had been raised in Reform Judaism. I converted because I wanted future children to experience the ‘togetherness’ of a tradition and viewed Reform Judaism as less dogmatic than Christianity.
SBN: So, how and why did you become interested in Buddhism? Did you join a sangha? Did you read books by Buddhist authors? What was the impact on you?
KL: After retiring I became a volunteer as a meeting facilitator for families with a loved one struggling with addiction. I had been doing that for a few years when we celebrated our anniversary with a spa weekend that offered some classes. One of these was an intro to Buddhism. During this class, I sat stunned as I learned how Buddhism and the cognitive approach used in my meetings seemed almost identical. I told a colleague about my experience, and she told me the founder of the approach (Albert Ellis) had said his therapy was based on an Asian philosophy. To learn more about Buddhism went on my bucket list.
SBN: When and how did you learn about a secular approach to the Dharma? Why were you drawn to this approach?
KL: Fast forward a few years to the COVID pandemic, and I began looking for something more to do at home during the isolation. I began taking online courses in Buddhism - traditional, mindfulness practices in the West, even evolutionary psychology and Buddhism –and I was hooked on the usefulness of the dharma. I found SBN by an internet search, and I’ve felt at home since then. The major draw for me is the absence of the metaphysical found in traditional Buddhism.
SBN: What ideas and practices of a secular approach do you find most impactful in your life?
KL: Impermanence, viewing the self as process, and our ability to diminish suffering have been very impactful. Also important has been the view of nirvana as a goal of reducing reactivity, rather than the metaphysical goal of a state beyond our present reality.
SBN: Do you find that secular Buddhism conflicts with other perspectives that you have? In short, has a secular Buddhist approach created any conflicts or tensions in how you think and act in the world?
KL: No, not at all -- it has brought me a perspective that ties together my life experience and views.
SBN: What do your friends and family think about your interest in secular Buddhism?
KL: A few close friends show an interest and enjoy learning about it. Most ignore it.
SBN: Do you have a regular meditation practice? How much is your practice influenced by secular Buddhism?
KL: My meditation practice is still a work in progress (but I am encouraged as I learn that this seems to be true for even experienced meditators). However, I feel I have moved ahead, understanding that the goal is to bring the work on the cushion to my life. My only frame of reference for meditation is a secular one.
SBN: Please describe your current involvement in secular Buddhist (and other Buddhist) activities.
KL: I participate in SBN's meditation group, reading group and discussion group.
SBN: How would you like to see secular Buddhism develop in the years ahead?
KL: Secular Buddhism works well for me as it exists presently. When I visited Thailand, I had the opportunity to talk to a Buddhist who was brought up in one of the traditions. He told me he followed the Buddha’s teaching and had no use for the religion of the monks. Perhaps oversimplified, but that pretty much sums up my view of what secular Buddhism means. I find the scholarly views interesting and often helpful in better understanding and practicing the dharma, but I don’t expect them to fundamentally change what secular Buddhism already is.
Like Stephen Batchelor, I try to practice metaphysical humility, respecting others’ views, and I don’t feel secular Buddhists need to justify using the Buddha’s teaching without the metaphysical views that were imposed upon it. Focusing on it seems unproductive. Getting away from this justifying is probably how I would like to see secular Buddhism develop.
If you are interested in sharing the story of your journey, we'd be happy to hear from you! Please contact Colette at secularbuddhist.network@gmail.com.
