Based on personal reflections, various books, and discussions with other members of the Secular Buddhist Network, I will present my current understanding of ‘right speech’ and ‘skilled communication’. If you disagree or have a different perspective, please share it in the comments.

1. The terms we use are important.

Right speech might not be the best term because it can be misleading if not examined deeply enough. A more appropriate term is skilled communication. Why?

I have issues with both words in right speech. Communication isn't just speech; it includes listening, body language, our relationship with others, and many other aspects. The words we use (or don't use) are only part of the complete picture. 

So, even if right speech could mean skilled communication to someone, that isn't obvious from the term, and it certainly wasn't to me. I firmly believe that the modern version of the eightfold path would be much better if, instead of right speech, it had a fold called skilled communication. Skilled communication is also part of skillfully relating to ourselves and others. Another term I like, perhaps even more than skilled communication, is wise communication. Which do you think is better?

2. If something is a skill, it can be trained.

That is very liberating. Even though I am not great at communicating with others at the moment, if I reflect on the components or sub-skills of that skill and put effort into developing and training them, I can become very skilled at it within a reasonable time.

Even though skilled communication involves a complex set of sub-skills, it isn't something you either have or don't have. There are many shades of gray (much more than 50!).

We can start with minor changes. I believe in consistent tiny actions and highly recommend Tiny Habits and Atomic Habits,which are perhaps the most useful books on creating desired behaviors. 

Mastering skilled communication may sound daunting, but answering the question, ‘What small action can I take today to improve my ability to communicate by at least 1%?’ isn't difficult and is achievable. Consistently making these small changes over a long period will significantly improve our skills.

3. Skilled implies appropriate in the context.

Many things are situationally dependent, and how ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ something is depends on the context. Context is king. Communication is a tool that serves different functions depending on the situation. Some key questions in each context are:

• What kind of person do I want to be?
• What kind of values/qualities do I want to practice in some situations?
• What do I want to achieve with communication?
• What do I not want?
• Do I understand the other person's position?
• Do I even care about skilled communication in that situation?

These are just some of the useful questions that suggest what skilled communication is in a given context. It isn't useful to talk too generally about skilled communication without considering its context.

4. The system that will work for me to become skilled in communication should be adapted to my inner needs, values, beliefs, and resources.

Learning/researching available resources on skilled communication is a great starting point for improving this skill. However, to be effective and sustainable, it should resonate with us.

We are all similar in many ways but different in important respects. In skilled communication, I value some components more than others, and I am more competent in some areas than others. Thus, a system that is a good fit for me could be a misfit for someone else.

Another (meta) skill is designing a system (model + practice) that fits someone well. Luckily, I already have that skill.

5. Communication with ourselves is at least as important as communication with others, probably even more so.

On a given day, the person we communicate with the most is ourselves. If our inner self-talk isn't skilled and infused with qualities like compassion, mindfulness, support, and friendliness, it significantly hinders our ability to have those qualities in relation to others and to experience inner peace, equanimity, and fulfillment. The great thing is that we have all day to practice skilled communication with ourselves in a safe environment.

6. Suggested questions for personal reflection or group discussions.

Choose a few specific contexts/situations while trying to answer these questions. This is important because context is king.

• What do you believe are important components of skilled communication? In which of the elements are you already good enough? Which one are your weak points?
• What values/qualities would you like to practice more when communicating with yourself and others?
• In Stephen Batchelor's new eightfold path model, voice is one of the folds or factors. In his view, we need imagination, creativity, courage and inner strength to find our own convictions, to stand by them and to be able to give them a clear voice in our communication. What do you think about his interpretation of voice? How does it relate to expressions like right speech, skilled communication, and wise communication?
• Which term resonates the best for you: right speech, voice, skilled communication, wise communication, or something else? Why?
• If you had to give some advice to someone or yourself about what small, tiny action they could take to improve their ability to communicate skillfully by at least 1%, what would it be?
• Is there something in this article you (strongly) disagree with?
• What do you think is missing in this article and is important to mention?
• What are some other important questions to ask about it?